Finding a partner in this day and age is really an underrated thing. Trust me – in our wicked and incredibly cruel world, there’s nothing quite like finding that one person who makes your life better and pretty much allows you to be free and to feel loved.

At the end of the day, we all yearn for that affection that comes with being in a relationship and being in love. But the truth is that love alone doesn’t sustain a relationship. If you’re with someone, the chances are high that you’ll be spending a lot of money – both on your upkeep and theirs.

So, what do you do when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend who is literally draining you financially? How do you handle the financial headache, and what do you do to make the stress sting a little less?

Before we address how best to handle a romantic partner whose lifestyle or demands might be draining you financially, it might be worth understanding how most people even get here in the first place.

Now, as we all know, human beings are pretty diverse. You go out today, and you meet different people from different backgrounds. Each of us have our specific beliefs, as well as those things we hold dear to us. And in many ways, these traits are what make us unique.

The interesting thing, however, is that our differences can also easily extend to things like finances. And while you might be pretty conservative and good with money on your own, you could have the issue of falling for someone who isn’t quite on your wavelength.

In itself, this can happen for several reasons. Some people might not be so mature when it comes to dealing with money, while other people might have unrealistic expectations of you when it comes to money.

Interestingly, a lot of people actually notice this from the very beginning. Think about it – if you’re a guy and you’re trying to get a girl, you probably set out to impress her. You send her money, buy her gifts every now and then, and whenever it’s time for you both to go out, you intentionally go out of your way to lavish her with luxury things. The same thing goes with women who actually put in the work to get men.

The problem with this is that it could create a bit of an illusion or an expectation from your partner. After your boyfriend or girlfriend has gotten a couple of gifts from you without them even having to ask for it, they tend to build expectations and have a specific view of you in their head. And once that happens, you can kind of see why they’d be expecting expensive gifts for things like holidays or their birthdays.

Even crazier is the fact that most people tend to rationalize this. The first time your partner asks you for too much money, you could extend yourself and help meet their needs. But as this trend goes on and on, you start to notice that it’s not sustainable and something needs to be done.

So, the question is – what can you actually do? I understand how you feel; you don’t want your partner to think less of you, and you don’t want to have any unnecessarily awkward conversations with them. At the same time, you also know that this spending spree has to stop if you’re to remain financially prudent.

Well, here are a few things you could try:

Communicate

The first and most mature thing you could do here is to communicate with your partner.

Look, I know that no one likes to have awkward conversations. And it can get really weird when you have to tell your partner that your finances are being affected because of them. But, instead of suffering in silence and leaving space for resentment to grow in the relationship, I’d always advise that you get them seated and have the conversation – no matter how awkward.

Relationships can be complicated. And the truth is that a lot of people actually don’t know how they affect your finances. Your partner might genuinely not know how their decisions affect your finances, so communicating with them really is a good way to clear things up and get you both on the same page.

Make A Budget & Stick To It

You might not necessarily know how your partner is affecting your finances, but you can definitely control your part. So, I’d suggest that you both come together and make a budget.

Plan how much you’ll both spend, understand your inflows and expenses, and try as much as possible to stick to that budget. Now, there’s a high chance that you’d end up not being able to stick to the entire thing at first – but, with time, you should get better.

Don’t Always Give In

For the sake of your relationship and your finances, you might also want to practice a bit of discipline yourself. The very last thing you want is to fall into financial strains, and if that means saying “No” to your partner once in a while, then this is what it might take.

At the end of the day, you’ve got to know when enough is enough.

Bring Them Into Your Finances

Another way to help your partner understand the value of money is to ensure that they contribute to things financially. If your partner is living with you, then let them contribute to the bills – no matter how small.

Also, set boundaries and expectations for them, so they’re able to make better decisions with money.

 

At the end of the day, we all want to feel loved and appreciated. And to be honest, money really shouldn’t be the reason why your relationship ends. So, if you find that your partner is draining your resources, it might be time to take action.